In The Triggering of Styxhexenhammer, there were so many different aspects of the triggering that I wanted to spend some time teasing out a few of them a little bit more. Not in relation to Styx specifically, but regarding how average people get triggered, what they should know about it, and how they can prevent it.
You see, The Art of the Trigger isn’t meant to be a publication about Twitter flame wars.
Ok, we’ll do that sometimes, because it’s fun and a great way to teach lessons about why human beings have the emotional reactions they do.
But the purpose of this is more than just case studies. It’s to teach people how to be stronger, so they don’t succumb to the trigger and can think their way out of it before they lash out emotionally at someone else.
That’s all triggering is - having an emotional reaction. Sometimes it might be a minor one, sometimes you’ll lash out. But to break what it means to get triggered down to its core components, it goes something like this: Something happens to you, it makes you feel something (either on a conscious or, more often, a deeply subconscious level), and you react to how it makes you feel.
If something hits you on a deeply subconscious level, like poking you in all of your childhood trauma, then you won’t even be aware of the fact that you’re triggered because your brain isn’t in a position to be consciously aware of it at the moment it happens.
In cases like that, the person being triggered will likely try to project their feelings onto someone or something else. That’s because it’s too painful (at that moment) for them to deal with what’s actually triggering them. More on this idea in a future piece.
There’s no shame in being triggered - it happens to everyone at some point in their lives. But you can learn from the experience (or, from the unfortunate experiences of others).
So, here’s where I want to start:
Triggering is truth.
What does that mean?
Something can only trigger you if you believe it’s true because, if you don’t believe it’s true, there’d be no reason for you to be triggered.
Believe is the most important word in that sentence.
I didn’t say something can only trigger you if it IS true.
I said something can only trigger you if you BELIEVE it’s true.
We believe things that are untrue about us all the time. Many people believe they are unworthy. They believe no one will listen to them. They believe they have nothing valuable to share with the world.
And none of those things are true.
There is not a single human being on earth that doesn’t have something valuable to share with the world…but a lot of people believe that to be the case.
So, if someone says something…and it hits on a core belief you have about yourself (whether consciously or subconsciously, because you might not even be aware of it), then it will trigger you regardless of if that belief is true or not.
Our brain is one of the most powerful computers in the world, and, unfortunately for us, we are not consciously aware of most of the information it processes. 11 million pieces of information come into our brain every single second, across all of our five senses.
Of that 11 million pieces of information, we are only consciously aware of about 40 of them.
Really think about that for a minute - that is a HUGE disconnect.
That’s why most of the things that trigger us exist in our subconscious.
We aren’t aware they exist.
That’s why triggering can be so beneficial to us, if we allow it to be. Try to see it as a blessing.
Every time you get triggered, it reveals something to you about what exists in your subconscious - something you believe is true about yourself, even if you don’t know why.
It reveals a belief that may not be beneficial for you to continue to carry around with you.
But to release that belief, you have to know and be hyper-aware that every time you’re triggered, it is because it is revealing truth to you.
A painful truth, perhaps.
A truth you don’t want to admit or acknowledge, probably.
But it is truth.
Because if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t bother you.
Identifying the trigger once it’s revealed may be a bit tricky. You may have to get triggered more than once to hone in on it. But if you’re actively looking for it, the belief you have that’s triggering you will reveal itself.
And once you know what it is, you can manage and mitigate it so that it doesn’t get in your way or trigger you in the future. If a belief isn’t helpful to you, you can let it go. We’ll discuss how to do that more in the future.
But for now, just understand that triggers come from somewhere internal. They are not the result of external stimuli. And we react the way we do because we believe them.
Taking radical responsibility is the only way to prevent yourself from being triggered.
Do you have the courage to do it?