People need to be triggered.

It's good for them.

People today have no resilience, and very little common sense.

I used to think this was just young people.

But no. It’s people of all ages.

Way to go, humanity. We are in the early stages of Idiocracy.

That’s why I think that most people are in desperate need of a good trigger.

Sure, some people might say “Karlyn, you’re a psychologist. You shouldn’t say such things!” as they clutch their pearls.

But no. I’m serious.

Triggering people is a game where it’s your job to know their emotions better than they know themselves. It’s a game of interpersonal insight. And when you trigger someone, if they are smart, they’ll gain insight into what makes them tick. That will make them stronger. You’ll help them develop the resilience they should have learned from being bullied in elementary school, which was an important training ground for what the real world really is.

You see, for those of you who may be too young to fully understand this yet (under 30), the real world operates like high school. It’s high school with more money, more power, and better drugs.

People go through this time in their 20s when they act like what they believe adults are supposed to act like. “Professional.” And every level they get promoted, they find that the perceived age of the people in those roles begins to drop, with just a touch more immaturity at each level. By the time you hit the VP level, people are acting like they WISH they had acted in their 20s, when they wasted their youth trying desperately to act like an adult.

Here’s the thing: Because the real world operates like a high school, I promise you that you are going to experience what you perceive as bullying. I promise you that you will experience social rejection. I promise you that you will experience disappointment. I promise you that you will find something shocking or hurtful or offensive.

And most of those things will have no impact on you if you develop resilience to them.

The way we develop resilience is by getting triggered and using that experience to learn how to identify when we’re being triggered. When you do that, you’ll learn how to interrupt the trigger by acknowledging why the trigger is occurring in the first place.

Every trigger has a root cause, usually stemming from (yes) what occurred in childhood.

Poor relationship with father. Trigger.

Mommy issues. Trigger.

Being bullied. Trigger.

But not exclusively. If you experience trauma as an adult it could come from that.

The trigger comes from somewhere. It’s the job of the person experiencing the trigger to identify why it’s triggering to them. Then, they can work on that.

Every time they get triggered, it’ll impact them a little less.

And let me tell you what - if you get triggered enough - then eventually you will not give a fuck about anything that anyone throws at you.

And when you do not give a fuck, that’s when you’re truly free.

Now, of course, you only get the positive outcome if you DO THE WORK on the emotional baggage you might be carrying around. This isn’t something you can cheat. You either work out your feelings or you’ll just keep getting triggered by the same thing over and over and over and over again.

Ignoring the trigger just tends to make the trigger worse because it puts you entirely at the whim of the actions of others.

Someone else tells a joke. You suffer.

Doesn’t seem ideal, does it?

Why should you suffer emotionally because someone else made a joke you didn’t like?

Or spoke to you in a way that reminded you of mommy?

Or loved you when you didn’t feel worthy of it?

There’s no reason to suffer when that happens. But oftentimes we don’t know something is triggering until we experience the trigger.

Something bothers us and we don’t know why. And then it happens again. And again. Slowly, we may be able to figure out where it’s coming from, even if we can’t fully identify it. That’s especially true if you’re actively looking for it.

Once you know that mommy issues are there, mommy issues suddenly become a whole lot easier to work out.

Every trigger is an opportunity to make yourself a better person.

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If something I say triggers you, that’s your fault, not mine. Sorry, not sorry.

Do I feel sorry when I trigger people? No, I don’t.

Well, mostly no. There is this group of people that I triggered so badly that they became obsessed with me. I didn’t expect that. I really didn’t. And I do feel sorry for that. One of them had mommy issues though, and saw me as her mother, so I can’t really help that. But the rest of them…I didn’t realize how badly I triggered them until it was too late.

So yes, on occasion, I do feel sorry.

But the vast majority of the time the answer is no.

Some people deserve to be triggered and I think we all need to acknowledge that.

And the best way to avoid being one of those people is to learn how not to get triggered in the first place.

I do not believe that my triggering you is my fault. I believe that it’s your fault for not properly identifying and working out your emotional baggage and, instead, insisting on blaming someone who you probably don’t really know for you getting hit in the feels. I’m sorry you haven’t worked out your baggage, but your baggage is not my responsibility.

Instead of being pissed off that you got emotionally outplayed, use it as an opportunity to address the real cause of the trigger in the first place.

That way, the next time it happens, you know why it’s happening, and that will help you prevent yourself from being triggered.

See? No more relying on other people for your emotional state. You’re in control of it yourself. Isn’t that better?

Triggering people is an act of service. And being triggered is a blessing that you can use to make yourself a stronger person.

If it’s going to happen at some point anyway (remember, real life is high school), then why not use the act of being triggered to make yourself better?

Otherwise, it just seems like wasted energy.

If you’re triggered by this essay, use its wisdom to make yourself stronger next time.

This is the art of the trigger.

And we’re going to talk about how to trigger people.

A lot.

You’ll learn how to trigger.

You’ll learn how to avoid getting triggered yourself.

It’ll be fun.

Follow along: